I quit residency training and here are the 3 reasons why
An interview with Dr. Carolynne Escudero
“It was not for me.”
The answer Dr. Carolynne Escudero gave when asked why she quit residency.
As we all know, medical residency is a period of training that we go through after completing medical school. It is a supervised hands-on program that allows us to gain experience in a specific medical specialty such as surgery, pediatrics or internal medicine.
Depending on the specialty, medical residency programs can last anywhere from three to seven years. After completing a medical residency, we may choose to continue our training with a fellowship, which is a more specialized training program in a particular area of medicine.
Each of us has our way of choosing our residency program. For Dr. Escudero, her reason was to learn more about something she knew little about. “I weighed my options. I realized that I had a million and one reasons not to join programs such as Internal Medicine or Surgery, but I had barely anything negative to say about Anesthesiology. This stems from a lack of knowledge and experience in that field, something that attracted me to it.”
Life as an anesthesiology resident can be demanding and challenging, but also rewarding. Anesthesiology residents typically work long hours, often including overnight and weekend shifts. They are responsible for administering anesthesia to patients undergoing surgery or other medical procedures, and must be able to make quick and decisive decisions in high-stress situations.
Anesthesiology residents also spend time in the operating room, observing surgeries and assisting the anesthesiologist consultant. In addition to clinical work, anesthesiology residents are expected to attend lectures, rounds, and conferences, and may also be required to complete research projects or present at conferences.
Despite the demanding schedule, anesthesiology residents often report feeling a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from being able to play a crucial role in patient care.
Answering the question WHY
“I have never quit anything major in my life before,” Dr. Escudero shared. “It took a while for me to decide to fully commit to quitting. When the decision was made, I gave my superiors my verbal intention to resign and followed up with a letter of resignation a couple of days later. I believe I submitted the same document to the Human Resources Department.”
For some doctors, it might be tough to quit the program you jumped into. You could find a lot of reasons to stay, but Dr. Escudero realized her reasons not to:
I was alone
I entered the program at the wrong time. The internal politics were chaotic, senior residents were graduating, quitting, or dying. And those who remained were removed for unreasonable circumstances. In a matter of weeks, I found myself alone. I was hardly 5 months in and I had no senior resident to fall back on, nor a fellow resident to keep me company. I had to rely on a lot of post-graduate interns to keep myself afloat.
Claustrophobia
As a first-year resident, I was expected to be inside the operating or delivery room from first thing in the morning until late at night. I no longer see sunlight. It did not take long for this to take its toll on my mental health. I became snide, sarcastic, and irritable. The four walls of the OR/DR, the scratchy masks, the constant beeping of machines, and the restrictive gowns and gloves for 24 hours, 7 days a week were driving me insane.
Would you like some coffee, Doctor Surgeon sir?
As a first-year resident, I spent most of my time assimilating knowledge and mimicking my mentors. This entailed a lot of observation of how anesthesiology consultants conduct themselves. Their relationship with their surgeon is of particular interest.
In general, anesthesiologists are chill, polite, and nice people. Those are some of the things that I love about them. This anesthesiology temperament is particularly important in maintaining a good relationship with some surgeons who seem to exude this neediness to be praised and attended to at all times.
It’s a game anesthesiologists play. How can they keep their surgeon happy? After all, surgeons bring the cases, they are the captains of the ship, and they take the burnt if mistakes are made in the operating room. Techniques to appease surgeons involved being there an hour early to clean up, offering them coffee, laughing at their questionable jokes, and even wiping their sweat off their brows. These small acts of humility are admirable and impressive.
And it was not for me. I did not have the right personality and temperament at that time. Random acts of kindness have always been difficult tasks for me when I was younger. I’ve come a long way now. But at that time, this is one of the biggest reasons why I decided anesthesiology was not a right fit for me.
What happened next?
Dr. Escudero continued serving the hospital for another two weeks after submitting her notice of resignation. “The entire time, my seniors tried to convince me to stay, which made the last few days extra hard,” she added. “Most of my seniors were an amazing wealth of knowledge and experience and I felt guilty leaving them without any residents.”
When you come to this point, it is common to feel guilty. There is that fear of being judged because of what you did. There might be a voice in your head that tells you you’ve let someone down.
Guilt can be overwhelming and exhausting. It can also be a powerful force for good. It can inspire you to be vulnerable and honest about your struggles. It can help you connect with others who have experienced similar circumstances and find comfort in shared experiences.
“Afterward, it was only a matter of completing my clearance (a series of signatures from different departments in the hospital) and I was free to go.”
The anesthesiology residency program did thrive after she left. “I learned that one of the post-graduate interns who rotated in the program while I was going solo as a resident went on to apply to the program after I left and has recently finished his training.”
The process
Deciding to quit medical residency can be a difficult and emotional process. Here are what you should know about it:
Assessing the situation
The first step in deciding to quit medical residency is often to assess the situation and consider the reasons for wanting to leave. You may realize that you are experiencing burnout, are unhappy with your specialty, or have personal or family obligations that are incompatible with your current program.
Weighing the pros and cons
Once the reasons for wanting to quit are clear, you will need to weigh the pros and cons of leaving the residency training. This may involve considering the financial and career implications of quitting, as well as the potential benefits of a change.
Seeking advice and support
It can be helpful to seek the advice and support of trusted colleagues, mentors, or a therapist during this process. These individuals can offer perspective and guidance, and can help you to feel less alone in your decision-making.
Making the decision
Making the decision to quit medical residency can be a difficult and emotional process. You may feel guilty, anxious, or worried about the future. You may also feel a sense of loss or sadness about leaving a career path that you had invested time and energy into.
Communicating the decision
Once the decision has been made, you will need to communicate your decision to your program directors and colleagues. This can be a challenging and emotional process, as you may worry about how your decision will be received and what the consequences will be.
Moving forward
After quitting the residency training, you will need to consider your next steps and figure out how to move forward. This may involve finding a new job, pursuing a different career path, or taking time to rest and recharge.
A piece of advice
Quitting residency training can be a complicated and isolating experience. It does not have to mean the end of your career in medicine. There are many alternative paths available for you, such as finding the next best residency training for you when you’re ready, working in healthcare administration (i.e., clinic manager), teaching, public health, or moonlighting. And if you are struggling with the decision to quit medical residency, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Ultimately, the decision to quit is a personal one that depends on your individual circumstances and goals. Trust your instincts and do what is best for you.